


Jaskier's Bestiary

by Monsterunderthefedora



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Feral Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt is done, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier may or may not be fully human, M/M, Monster Babies, monsters love Jaskier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24728695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsterunderthefedora/pseuds/Monsterunderthefedora
Summary: On their travels, Jaskier has come across many creatures. It only made sense to start cataloguing them.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 65
Kudos: 464





	1. Katakan Pups

"Those are Katakan pups."

"Yep!"

"Where in the fuck did you even get them?"

"They were just wandering around in the woods all alone, couldn't just leave them." Geralt watched as the bat faced pups swarmed around the bard. Happily nipping and prancing about. The witcher felt an artery about to burst as Jaskier only encouraged this. Strumming his lute which made them only more excited.

One noticing the witcher and darting over to him, jumping on the man's chest. It made a noise between a bark and shriek, signaling the other pups that also happily jumped on the witcher.

"Awwww, they like you." The bard crooned.

"No they smell their dead mother on me." Geralt had been hired to find a supernatural killer by the village. It took a day off investigating before he was led to a house in the middle of the woods where a middle aged woman lived. She was the town's herbalist. And a serial killer apparently. Drinking blood of the town's men. Geralt didn't like to kill something if he didn't have to but he couldn't let her kill another innocent person. Now, still covered in her blood, the pups recognized him as their parent. Shit.

"You killed their mother?" Jaskier asked incredulously. The pups paid him no mind, clawing at Geralt's shiny armor. One trying to pull at his silver sword before quickly scampering away. 

"She was killing people Jask."

"Well what are we going to do with them now?" Geralt stared at the pups who looked to at him expectantly. "And don't you dare think about killing them."

"No...I know somebody who can take care of them."

"Really? Who?"

~~

"Ugh...Dettlaff?" The higher vampire looked up from his game of Gwent to see Regis at the door. "You might want to see this." The man got up, walking over to see a basket on their door step. About five or six katakan pups squirming around happily. 

"What in the...?"

"We got a note too." Regis handed the piece of paper that had previously been attached to the basket. 

'Killed their mom, didn't know what else to do. -Geralt.'

"Gods damn it."


	2. Succubi and Inncubi

"Jaskier, I came to save you-"

"No, no, it's cool Geralt."

"Jaskier, they're sex demons."

"And?" Jaskier was half naked, under a pile of succubi and inncubi alike all happily grinding against the bard. A face of pure ecstasy on his face as one worked on his pants. 

"This many of them will literally kill you."

"Geralt, this is exactly how I wanted to die. In an orgy of sin and debauchery. The only thing that's missing is you." He winked at the witcher before letting out an abrupt moan. Geralt rubbed his face, extremely annoyed as his partner refused to move.

"We're leaving. Now." Geralt grabbed the bard by his side, dragging him away from the group.

"Come on witcher," one of the men that had previously been sucking on Jaskier's neck protested. "He was just fine with us."

"He's a horny bard, doesn't know any better." 

"Don't we interest you too?" A woman with black hair asked with a giggle.

"I'm too annoyed to be interested by anything right now. Jaskier say good bye to your fuck buddies." The bard was still in a succubi created haze as he waved a hand.

"I'll be back~"

"No. He won't."


	3. Arachnomorphs

"We're going to die here."

"Geralt, try to be optimistic about this."

"We're going to die fast." 

"That's not encouraging." Jaskier watched as the arachnomorphs crawled around the nest. The bard pulling at the cocoon of webbing he found himself in. Geralt was nearby, hanging upside down. His hair sticking to the wall of the nest as he tried to swing away with no use. His swords were somewhere in mess of silk and giant spiders. It was going fine until Jaskier barged in-

"I just wanted to help!" He said but it only made things much worse. The spiders pouncing on the bard and Geralt trying to save him only to get swarmed. Looking around the nest only reminded him of how grim their situation was. Skulls and bones of all kind were scattered around. Large and small, some still had fish attached to them. A distinctive pair of boots stood out, Geralt recognizing them as belonging to the brother they were hired to find. Fuck.

"When I tell you to stay, stay."

"Geralt, I'm not a horse."

"Clearly, Roache has at least two brain cells to rub together."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Jaskier was moving around a sawing noise could be heard before he unceremoniously fell to the ground. Dagger in hand as he stood up, grinning at his witcher. "I'm not completely helpless!"

"Just get me down. Now."

"I don't know if my brain cells can manage it-"

"Jaskier."

"Okay, okay, fine. Give me a moment." Geralt sighed as he watched the other man begin to climb towards the witcher. Memories of Vesemir threatening to use a leash on him and his brothers. Suddenly the idea didn't seem so bad if it kept this from happening again.


	4. Fire Bird

"Have you seen my hat?"

"Why the fuck would I know where that ugly thing is?"

"It's not ugly!"

"Jaskier, it's one of the most heinous things I've ever seen someone wear in public. That means a lot coming from me."

"Fuck off." The bard looked around the campsite for his article of clothing. Geralt sat by the fire pit, sharpening his blade. Jaskier digging through his bed roll when he saw something glinting on the edge of their campsite. The bard grinned as he went over expecting his hat. It was there. But on top of it was something unexpected.

It was a bird. Well it looked like a large red and orange chicken. Curled around the purple cap, softly clicking on it's sleep. It almost took a moment before he noticed the flames emanating from the creature. It wasn't burning anything making the bard's eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Reaching out for the bird but was surprised by Geralt's hand grabbing his wrist.

"Geralt, what-?"

"A fire bird." Geralt pointed at the sleeping creature's stomach. "She's expecting. Soon."

"Wait, wait, wait, so a phoenix is about to give birth on my hat?"

"Yes."

"We need to move it!"

"They scare easy Jaskier and contrary to old wives tales, they don't come back. That's why they're so endangered."

"What are we supposed to do then?"

"Let nature take it's course and hope for the best."

"But my hat..."

"Enough with the hat. You can get a new one later." The bard huffed.

"Fine but you're paying for it."


	5. Fairy Circles

"-by the light of the Eternal flame, I take you as my beloved and will never let you go as long as it turns."

"Do I get a say in this? Because I really don't want this."

"Nope. You two are now king and and royal consort." Jaskier made a face at the man across from him. For the fae, he was a lot bigger than what the bard expected. Tall, white blonde hair, cheek bones you could sharpen a sword on. But given the fact he'd only meet this man (a king nonetheless) an hour ago. He wasn't exactly excited. Especially at the prospect of marriage. 

"Always be aware of your surroundings." Geralt had warned him multiple times. But how was he supposed to know that random patch of rocks was a fairy circle? The odd man with eyeliner he could only compare to a certain sorceress', staring deep into his eyes. Jaskier's eyes unable to look up from the bulge made by the man's tight, tight pants. The proposal he had no say in was sudden, whisked away by a group of women. A haze of being forced into a weirdly colored outfit and shoved in front of a large tree.

"The sacred oak," one of the fairies said. Didn't know, didn't care. Jaskier was confused, angry and slightly turned on. Not a good combination.

"This is the part where you kiss me." The king said with a grin. Jaskier hesitated to say something when a familiar voice called.

"The fuck it is." Both turned to see Geralt. Jaskier letting out a relieved sigh as the annoyed witcher stormed over. "I was gone for one hour Jaskier. One. Hour." Geralt turning to the fairy king. "He's not going to marry anybody he doesn't want to."

"He stepped in my circle. It's fae law-"

"Jaskier gets in a lot of things he shouldn't. A. lot. So your going to forget about, okay?" The king was terrified as he nodded. "Now get hell out of here. If I catch you doing the fairy circle shit again, it won't end well next time." The man and the rest of the fae folk quickly disappeared leaving the witcher and his bard alone again.

"Thank the Gods, here I am thinking I'd be tied down to one person."

"Jaskier?"

"Yeah?"

"Sometimes I worry about you."


	6. Harpies (part one)

Jaskier was flashy. Gaudy, ostentatious, a show off. When he bought that stupid glittery purple hat, Geralt tried to convince him to find something else. But no, apparently it went with eyes or something. Geralt could only roll his eyes at this as they ventured further into the woods. A harpy nest was terrorizing the nearby village, Geralt was sent to destroy it.

Jaskier was behind him merrily singing the tune about a bear and a maiden when he was cut off by a loud screech. Geralt turning around, his sword raised to see Jaskier. Being carried off by a harpy as he shrieked. 

"Geralt!" He was flapping about wildly before he was out of sight.

"Fuck." The witcher cursed as he jogged behind them. Harpies were like birds, diving for the prettiest shiny they saw. In this case, his bard. Searching the area Geralt's eyes focused on the edge of a cliff where harpies were swarming. The ugly purple hat Jaskier insisted on wearing glinting in the sunlight. Looked like he was doing so climbing...

~~

Jaskier did not like most of the monsters Geralt dealt with. Harpies were one of the less terrifying but when he was carried away by one and dropped in a nest? It was suddenly a lot more scary.

His fall was unceremonious, hitting a pile of sticks, straw and other shiny things. The bard rubbing his head in pain before looking around. The first thing he saw were eggs. Oh Gods, harpy eggs were a lot bigger than he thought. Giving when one of them moved, a small crack forming in one of them. Looking around Jaskier considered jumping until he saw exactly how high up off the ground they were. The only thing he succeeded in doing was giving himself vertigo.

"Oh no, oh no, no, no, no." Harpies flew nearby so even if he couldn't run, it wouldn't have been a good idea. "Geralt!" He screamed for his witcher. The eggs continued to move and crack as Jaskier crawled to the furthest corner of the nest. They brought him here to be good for the babies, he was so screwed. Oh Gods eaten by harpies, he could already great another annoying bard writing tales of how sad and pathetic this was.

He closed his eyes as heard them start to crawl out from their shells. Expecting a painful death of teeth and claws. But instead...he was surprised something, well multiple somethings, rubbing against his legs. He opened his eyes and saw what he could only describe as the ugliest baby birds in his life. Happily swarming around him. 

"They like shiny things."

He recalled Geralt saying. They stared wide sure as his colorful pants with gold ribbon. One of them pulling at a stray string curiously. It was...almost cute. Despite being uglier than sin itself, he found one hopping into his lap. Experimentally petting it, the creature leaned into his touch.

"Aw...well I guess you're not that bad..."

"Jaskier-"

"Eeep!" Jaskier let out an unmanly squeal as he jumped back. Geralt, one hand on the rocks off the cliff, the other holding a crossbow. "Oh Geralt, thank Gods you're here." Jaskier moved towards his witcher. "Get me the hell out of here."

Geralt for his part was more than happy to oblige. Neither noticing the smallest harpy that managed to stow itself away in Jaskier's pack.


	7. Harpies (Part two)

Geralt was deep in meditation when he felt a small tug on his hair. One of his eyes opened but upon seeing nothing, went back to his deep state. Only he didn't get far, there was another sharp tug. His eyes snapped open, slightly annoyed. It was dark now, save the embers of their dying campfire. Jaskier, curled on his sleep mat nearby. If it wasn't his bard, what the hell-

Reaching around, Geralt's hands came into contact with something soft and feathery. He grabbed it causing a small screech from whatever nested in his hair. In his hands was a small, baby harpy. The child wriggled around in his strong grip which he instant loosened. Looks like they had a tag along from Jaskier's rescue. 

Geralt knew harpies were no laughing matter but the babies were relatively harmless. They were roughly that size of cats, this one even smaller. Her claws were sharp but not deadly. Now free of his hands the creature hopped on his lap. He tilted his head, the harpy did the same. She chirped, hopping on his shoulder then settling back in his hair. The witcher didn't think many things were adorable. But this? Was the cutest damn thing he'd seen in a while. 

He ignored the occasional tug of his hair as the bird settled. He'd always wondered about training a hawk to help him. Maybe he could do the same with a harpy...


	8. Sirens

"I hate Skelliege." 

"So you've said, multiple times in the past hour.''

"I can't believe you dragged me here."

"You forced yourself on the boat with me saying you can handle anything and that I'd be lost without you."

"Well it's true...I just didn't know how fucking cold this place would be." Jaskier shivered as Geralt rowed their dinghy of a boat towards the mainland of Ard Skellig. "And I didn't know our fucking boat would get attacked forcing us to use this death trap the rest of the way."

"Jaskier?"

"Yes?"

"We still have a few hours or so to go. Please tell me you're not going to be bitching the entire time."

"I'll bitch until I'm in front of a nice warm fire with actual food. Not some spoiled chicken jerky." The bard huffed, holding the fur coats he'd acquired closer to his body. He reached into his pack miserably to find some of said jerky but saw their harpy fast asleep. "Never mind, it seems Ines already ate it all. Guess I'll starve to death before we get there."

"Don't get mad at Ines. She doesn't know any better. Unlike some people." Geralt teased as he continued to row. Watching as his friend leaned over the side, looking slightly green.

"Your know if I was Yenn's bard we'd already be there, nice and warm."

"But you're not so-" He was cut off by a loud screech. Geralt stopping as Jaskier perked up. 

"Geralt...I think I'm going mad. There's a woman in the mist...she's so beautiful." Jaskier leaned out the boat to get a better look. Before Geralt could stop him Jaskier was being dragged down into the freezing water. 

"Shit!" Geralt dove into the water after him. If he'd known the whole journey would be like this, he'd of left Jaskier in Novigrad. Kicking down he saw Jaskier struggling to escape the siren's clutches. Geralt grabbing his crossbow and unleashing bolts into her chest. She turned, hissing loudly and quickly forgetting Jaskier in favor of the attacking witcher.

It was quick, a bolt to her head before the siren's body sunk into the depths of the sea. Looking around Geralt saw his bard. Unmoving as the witcher wrapped an arm around Jaskier's waist and began to swim upwards. Surfacing, he coughed and gasped for air. Not so carefully throwing the unmoving Jaskier back on the boat. 

"Fucking..." Geralt murmured loudly, taking off the furs that weighed Jaskier down. Alternating between chest compressions and mouth to mouth when mid lip lock Jaskier sat straight up. Gagging for air and ridding good lungs of the water previously in them.

"Mmmm...Geralt is it really the time for all that? At least wait till I'm decent..." Jaskier muttered. Despite this Geralt smiled. Jaskier was just fine.


	9. Gaunter O'Dimm (part one)

"I wish I never met you!" Jaskier yelled, tired, annoyed and angry. All eyes of the inn were on them. Geralt staring at the bard in shock. A look of genuine hurt on his face that was quickly replaced by a matching anger.

"Sometimes I do too." Geralt said simply before leaving the inn. Jaskier stood alone for a moment. There was a pause before the inn went back to its normal chatter. Jaskier was seething as he sat down, ordering a drink before retreating into the farthest darkest corner away from everyone else. He didn't mean it but Gods, with the way Geralt treated him?

They had been on the road for so long in the summer heat. He was tired and hungry when they stopped the previous night at the inn. He just wanted to do something nice for Geralt. His silver sword was so old and looked ready to break at any second. When he saw a man in the market selling, what he thought, were quality silver swords the bard couldn't help himself. He bought one. Throwing out that dingy thing Geralt was using and replacing it just before he went to take care of a nekker nest.

How was he supposed to know it would break upon coming in contact with a monster? 

Geralt had come back from the hunt, bloody and bruised. He was angry covered in both his and the nekkers blood when they started to fight in front of everyone. It was stupid, Jaskier knew he was in the wrong but heading Geralt ask him why he couldn't do anything right? It just...slipped out.

"Scuse me." Jaskier looked up from his ale. A bald man in an orange shirt sat across from him. A smile on his face. "Couldn't help but notice that row you two were having."

"Yeah you and everyone else here." Jaskier said annoyed. Watching as the man shifted.

"You're Jaskier right? I've heard of your songs. Quite the fan." 

"Really?" The appeal to his ego had the bard intrigued. "Don't hear that a lot."

"With him? I bet." The man was looking at the door Geralt left through.

"Who are you?"

"A curious vagrant." The man replied. "Is it true? You wish you never met the witcher?" Jaskier frowned at the mention of Geralt.

"I guess. You'd think, after following him for years now, he'd actually test me like his friend. Not some pack mule."

"He just doesn't appreciate your talent." Jaskier snorted.

"You could say that again. I just...wonder what my life would've been like. If I'd never met him." Jaskier sat his mug down when he noticed the bar as a whole had gone quiet. No one else was moving. He turned to the vagrant who clapped his hands together with a smile.

"Consider it done!"

"What?"

"Your wish," the man stood up. "Consider it done, I'm always there for people in need." His face contorting slightly as he began to walk to the door. "And just this once, it's completely free of charge." He walked through the door of the inn, movement resuming as he left. Jaskier got up, trying to follow. But when he opened the door it seemed as if the man had disappeared into thin air.

"...what the fuck?"


	10. Gaunter O'Dimm (part two)

"Mmmm...little further Geralt...." Jaskier murmured as he felt the hand on his hips move. Rolling over in the bed happily before the hand quickly retreated.

"Who's Geralt?" A woman's voice asked and Jaskier's eyes snapped open. Sitting up quickly he saw a woman with blonde hair. Staring at him annoyed as she got up, grabbing her clothes. "Another person you're cheating on me with?" Jaskier's eyebrows knit together. What? He didn't recall bringing a girl back to their room last night...then again alcohol was very helpful for forgetting things. Although looking around the room, they were very obviously not in the inn from the night before.

It was a room. A nice room. With a nice feather down bed. 

"What the hell...?" Jaskier murmured to himself as he got up. The bard wasn't wearing anything causing him to look around for something to cover himself with. The woman was already clad in her dress, sitting in front of a vanity as she worked on combing her hair.

"For Gods sakes Jaskier, you can at least pretend to be committed for our parents sakes."

"Committed?"

"A foreign concept for you, I know." The woman watched out of the charger of her eye as Jaskier dressed himself. "But our marriage is in only a week's time. Get your act together."

"Wh....what? I'm sorry I'm not following. Who are you? And where am I?" The woman made a face, turning to Jaskier annoyed.

"Please tell me you didn't get so drunk last night you forget my name again."

"Ugh...yes?"

"Damn it, we have a lunch to attend." The woman rubbed her head with a loud sigh. "My name is Elizebetza. I'm your fiance and we're in your childhood home." Jaskier was struggling with the buttons of his doublet. Walking over Elizebetza helped. Brushing off his shoulders before forcing a smile. "And for both of our sakes you're going to act somewhat sober for the family. If you don't, I will rip your balls off and make sure you're not able to create any more of those bastards you have running around. Alright?" She sounded happy but the threatening tone was clear. He nodded as she backed away. "Good. They'll be over soon. I'll help with dinner, you...do whatever it is you do when I'm not around that isn't sleeping with some gigolo."

Elizebetza left Jaskier gaping like a fish. What the hell was going on? Last night he was at an inn with Geralt, they fight and then....

Memories of a nameless vagrant crossing his mind...he must have something to do with this. Jaskier running out the door, down the stairs and out of the chateau. It was indeed his childhood home but this shouldn't have been possible. For Gods sakes, he was on the other side of the continent last night. With Geralt-

Wait. If he was here? Then where the hell was his witcher?

~~

Jaskier was out of practice when it came to horse riding. Usually trusting Geralt and Roach to get him wherever they were going. So when he mounted one of the many steeds from their stables, he found himself struggling. Slipping off the saddle as he road to Oxenfurt, the bard (former bard?) clung to the reins for dear life.

By the time they reached the city's outskirts he less than gracefully fell down onto his knees. Coughing loudly he stood and brushed the dirt off. He'd never doubt Roach's abilities again of it meant he could avoid that. But that wasn't important. He needed to find his beloved witcher. Someone, somewhere in this city had to know where Geralt was. Going up to the notice board he searched for some reason Geralt would be there. A contract was front and center. Something attacking Redanian soldiers along the coast, Witcher wanted.

Jaskier walking along the main street where people gathered around the vendors there. Trying not to be obvious as he attempted to listen for something. Anything. It was mostly idle chatter. But one conversation catching his ear in particular.

" -ou here? The butcher came through town last night. My husband saw him with his own eyes."

"Really? That must've been terrifying. It's out true they snatch up any stray , children?" 

"I don't know, didn't stick around long enough to find out."

"Gods above..." 

"Excuse me ladies." The conversing women turned to Jaskier. One of them gasping.

"V-viscount, how can we-I help you?"

"I couldn't help but hear you talking about a witcher." Jaskier hoped it was his Geralt. "Can you tell me where your husband saw him?"

"Around the docks..." The woman got out. "Said it looked like he was waiting for something." Normally Jaskier would've thanked them for their information time was crucial. He needed to find Geralt before he left. And the trail was leading him to the docks

~~

"Witcher you say?" One of dock workers asked as he moved boxes. Jaskier nodding as he followed. "Yeah I saw him. Gray haired fellow with cats eyes. Loitering around the king's ship, saw the guards give him a talking to."

"But do you know where he went?" The man shrugged.

"Last I saw he swimming in the Pontar like some fucking fish."

"Where to?"

"Probably the island all those guards were disappearing from. Hasn't been back since so probably didn't go too well." Jaskier nodded turning to leave. "Hey I helped you, mind helping me?"

"With...what?"

"If you do see him again, give Geralt my regards." Jaskier froze. Turning around but the man was already gone.


	11. Gaunter O'Dimm (part three)

Jaskier was not meant for the continent's wilds. The fact he survived for so long before meeting Geralt could easily be chalked up to pure luck and the good faces of some of the noble women who favored him. As he got off the small dinghy, visibly green he realized this.

He was in the middle of a forested area, surrounded by water with only a dagger to his name for defense. But he'd be damned if he was stuck in a world where he never met his witcher. Walking into the trees he saw a rock troll painting shields with what he suspected to be the blood of Redanian soldiers. Charming. 

"Excuse me," he walked over, ready to run at a moment's notice. Geralt said they were nice as long as you didn't provoke them. The rock troll turned, more red liquid covered his face. Mid day snack perhaps. "Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if you could perchance help me find someone."

"Find?" The troll grunted out. 

"Yes," Jaskier noticed the arm he was crunching on. "Geralt, big, tall, long white hair?" The troll made a face, the bard could practically hear the cogs in it's head turning. 

"Beefy lady!" The troll said loudly. Jaskier shorted.

"Beefy lady?"

"Yeah big beefy lady," he pointed to a shield with what resembled the Redanian sigil painted on it. "Paint Trololol fancy bird!"

"You're Trololol?"

"Mmmhmmm."

"Could you tell me where he went?" 

"Hmmm...." The troll racked his hand against his head for a moment then pointing further south. 

"Can you be more specific?" The troll stared at him. "Right. Ugh, thank you anyway." Okay, so that troll probably wasn't the contract in that case. The bard held the knife tightly. Something was out there. Presumably killing men if the notice was right. Something that Geralt probably liked already so he'd-

"Move!" Jaskier was pushed to the ground by a heavy force. The bard winced visibly, looking up to see sharp quills buried in the ground where he was previously standing. He tried to look further but a hand pushed him down. "Don't. Keep your eyes closed unless you want to die." Jaskier could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Geralt-"

"Stay here." There was a loud, angry shriek. Jaskier had learned enough over the years to realize what it was. A cockatrice. Nasty things. He was unmoving before there was a loud squelch followed by a hissing sizzle. He peeked from his position just slightly to see Geralt holding it's decapitated head. "It's safe now."

"Oh thank Gods," Jaskier got to, dusting himself off. "I thought I'd never find you." Geralt stared at him. "You know you're not an easy man to find-"

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" The witcher stared at Jaskier. 

"What?" Jaskier gaped at Geralt. No look of recognition in his eyes. "You don't remember me?" 

"Should I?" The bard faltered. Normally he would've said yes. Of course. He'd known Geralt for years. They were....well he wasn't really sure what they were. But her still felt his stomach drop as the words reverberated around his head. 

"Oh this is adorable." Both men turned, Geralt sword still in hand. The man from the bar, have clasped together. "Watching you two meet cute again."

"Who the fuck is he?" Geralt snarled and the man hummed.

"Still as rude now as you were before. Shame. Thought maybe you'd learn manners this time round." He jabbed Geralt with his finger and Jaskier scowled. 

"Listen, I don't know what you are," Jaskier only now realized that everything around them from the wind to the wild animals had stopped moving. "And I don't care. But whatever you are, I demand you fix this."

"Fix what? I only gave you what you asked for."

"I didn't mean-"

"Oh but you did." The man glanced at the confused witcher. "It must not be easy. Not having anyone in your life who wants you." Jaskier seethed, bringing a fist to the man's face. Or at least, he tried to. It stopped just short. The man, monster-whatever the hell he was, side eyed him unamused. "Have you not been paying attention bard? Clearly that kind of thing won't work." He stepped out of the way. Jaskier's fist now in motion again as he fell to the ground. 

"Fucking, hmmppfff," Jaskier hemmed loudly as he clutched the arm he'd awkwardly landed on. 

"I can see you're frustrated." The man leaned down to be at eye level with the bard. "It's quite amusing but if you insist on trying to fix what you started, I'll happily oblige." Jaskier stared at him, unsure. "If you'll play a game."

"What kind of game?" The unnamed man grinned. Snapping his fingers and the world around them seemed to fall away into darkness. 

"One that'll determine if your witcher ever remembers you."


End file.
